Shelter for My Black Soul
by WitchOfDarkness13
Summary: When you know that the world is going to hell, and that your actions might cause you to follow, the one thing that you'll wish for in life is shelter for your soul.
1. The little King

**AN/ Hey everyone, this is my first songfic-ish story. It's a two shot, so the second chapter should be up sometime soon, like within the next couple of days. As always reviews are very nice and I would love to get one! To those who read my normal stories, I should be updating sometime this week too. Also, please vote in my poll! Alright, I'll stop talking now and let you read, enjoy!**

I enter the bar and glance around, seeing who's here and who isn't. Of course, since it's a muggle bar, it's mainly muggles and people I don't know. However in one corner of the bar sits a solitary man, who I would recognize anywhere even though I hadn't seen him up close in years. His hair is longer than I remember, and his eyes slightly haunted with from the affects of war. There's a small silver scar that's on the right side of his face, starting at the ear and ending at the collar bone on that side.

_At the end of my days,  
When I'm called to go,  
into the open arms, of the Holy Ghost.  
To have lived such a life, as I have known,  
Will fortune follow me, now that I'm brave no more?_

Smiling sadly, I weave through the crowd and come up behind him. His leather jacket is slightly worn from use, but hums slightly with magic only detectable to other magic users. I can smell the Old Spice aftershave that he uses, and the Winston cigarettes that he smoke, but there's a slight undertone of a thunderstorm that has always been there, ever since I have known him.

"Is this seat taken?" I ask, and watch as he jumps and spins around to look at me with wide grey eyes.

"Reg?" he whispers.

I smile, "Hey Siri."

"The seat isn't taken. Have a drink with me?" he asks.

I nod and order a beer. Taking a sip I glance at my brother and sigh.

"Where'd it go wrong Siri? Where did life get so fucked up?" I ask. I can't help but to think about how different our lives are, and how different the paths that we have chosen are.

He shrugs, "Couldn't tell you. To be honest I think that we all were born fucked up. Well, I was at least." Sirius laughs, "God, Reg, I can't tell you how much I missed talking with you like this. Just you and me, and whatever's on our minds."

I grin, "I have too. I'm sorry that it stopped, I think that was partially my fault."

"Mine too." He pauses to think for a moment, "Why don't we pick back up at that point? In all reality, what's stopping us?"

I stare at him incredulously, "The fact that there's a war that you and I are on two opposing ends with? The fact that you and I might end up fighting each other at one point?"

Sirius shrugs, "That's exactly the reason why I'm saying it. Reg, you know that I'm fighting at nearly every major battle. There's going to be a day that I don't come back. I don't want the regret of not getting to know my brother on my mind as I die."

I look at Sirius and notice that he's staring intently at me. I swallow and can feel myself breaking down slightly in my resolve to have this by my goodbye. I can feel my determination to do what's right starting to waver in place of the urge to stay and getting reacquainted with my brother.

'Just for tonight,' I think and smile at him, "Yeah, we can do that."

Sirius smiles like when we were young and having fun, "Great. We'll either have to find a place to meet or I can key you into the wards around my flat."

"You could always come to my place. I live on my own now and have a small flat in London." I twirl the bottle on the edge of its bottom.

"You've got your own place?"

"Yep, I moved out of Grimwauld place a couple of weeks after graduation, "I tell him, proud of that little fact.

"That's great Reg! Wait a moment." he calls the bartender over and orders a couple of shots of some of the really expensive whiskey.

"What's that for?" I ask.

"A small celebration for everything I've missed," Sirius says, "Your sixteenth, seventeenth and eighteenth birthdays, graduation and for you moving out. I'll give you your actual present later."

I hold up a hand, "You don't have to get me anything."

"It's a present I've been meaning to send for a while, but couldn't cause I didn't think that you would get it or want to get it," Sirius explains with a half shrug.

_Oh, if I could spend my days,  
free from the prison of your gaze,  
then I could die a happy man._

I can feel myself wanting to spill my guts and knowledge and plans to Sirius. It's something that can be traced back to when we were kids. With one look Sirius could always get me to tell him anything. He could tell what I was thinking and how my emotions were, and I could always feel his gaze sending me messages of warning, cheer, encouragement and disapproval. I know that if I spend too much time with Sirius right now that I might never take care of the Horcruxes.

"Hey, I have something that I need to take care of." I pull out a piece of paper and write my address down, "Why don't you come over tomorrow and we can talk and have a couple of steaks?"

Sirius nods, taking the paper, "Alright."

I finish my drink and stand to leave, shrugging on my coat while I did so.

"Reg?"

"Yeah?"

Sirius swallows and looks at me with all seriousness, "Be careful."

I nod, not even thinking about the possibility of me lying to him right now. I give a smile and pat him on the shoulder once before making my way from the bar and out into the cold London night. Walking along the street I find an empty alley and head down it. I pull my coat tighter around myself and look around to make sure that there isn't anyone nearby. The only thing I see is a large black dog at the end of the alley, so I apparate away.

Landing on a rock in the middle of the ocean I scowl at the spray that drenches me and at my own stupidity. Kreature had said that the place was by an ocean.

"Kreature!" I call, hoping that he will respond.

There's a light crack and the elf appears, "Master Regulus?"

"I need you to take me to the place that the Dark- that Voldemort took you to," I explain.

Kreature nods with wide eyes, lightly grabs my arm and apperates us to the cavernous room. I glance around, in slight awe at the size and then notice the platform on a small rock island in the center. I frown, knowing that it would not be so easy as to swim across. Voldemort is very apt at inferi, and I am not in the mood to run into one of them.

"Kreature, do you remember how Voldemort brought you across the lake?" I ask.

"Yes, he pulled on a chain and made a boat appear that took us across," Kreature croaks.

I feel with my magic before grabbing said chain. Pulling, I notice that there is a slight drag on the chain, as though something was being brought up from the water. As the chain begins to pile up on the bank I wonder at how large the boat would be and if it would allow both Kreature and me to travel through at the same time. Probably, seeing as that Voldemort would not consider a house elf to be of great importance.

**"Reg, I don't think you get it," Sirius huffed, "It doesn't matter what a life is. If it's a house elf, a unicorn, a dragon, a werewolf, a muggle or a witch or wizard, all lives are important. No one person is more important than another because of their birth."**

I shake the memory from my thoughts and finish pulling the boat up. Helping Kreature in I then climb aboard and steady myself as the small boat lurches into motion. As it glides across the water I notice inferi under the water. Definitely do not want to go for a swim. The boat stops at the bank and I climb out and walk to the center of the island to the crystal bowl set in the center. There's a liquid in it, but I can see the Horcrux at the bottom. It's a locket. I try getting rid of it every way, except for the only way that I am certain will work, and none of the other attempts to rid the potion from the basin work.

"Kreature, I order you to make me drink this entire potion, no matter what I say or do. You are not to drink any of it. When all the potion is gone, you will take the locket that is at the bottom and replace it with a copy with this note inside it," I order, handing him the note I've written, "You will then go back to Grimwauld place, and try to destroy it. If you cannot, hide it in father's study. Do not tell Mother, Bellatrix, Narcissa, Lucius or any other Death Eaters, including Voldemort, about what has happened."

Kreature looks at me with wide sad eyes and nods.

Sighing with reluctance I grab the cup, dip it in the potion, and bring it to my lips. I close my eyes and take a drink. Pain floods my senses, but within a moment it goes away. I keep taking drinks until I cannot anymore. I drop the cup and start shaking. Horrible memories come rushing at me, and I cannot keep reality and memory separate.

**Waiting for the sorting, being placed in Slytherin and knowing that this was the beginning of the end for my relationship with Sirius. **

**"You're a no good blood traitor and I wish that I had drowned you the moment that I had given birth to you!" Mother screeches at Sirius, "You're a stain upon this family and its name!"  
"I don't care! You all are just a bunch of evil bastards!" Sirius roars back before running from the house, slamming the door behind him.**

**I stand in the center of the circle of Death Eaters, Voldemort behind me and Bellatrix behind me. I know that there are only two options. Death, or being marked. I certainly do not want death, and the only logical thing to do is be marked. I hold out my left wrist and hold back a scream as the mark is emblazoned upon my skin.**

"Master Regulus, you must drink this," Kreature says, "Drink this, it will help the pain go away."

**There's a girl with curly hair and grey eyes standing in front of me, terrified. The other Death Eaters are running around, killing, torturing, and enjoying themselves.  
"Either kill her or torture her, Regulus," Snape says, "There's no use keeping a mudblood like her alive."  
I wince and send a spell at her. She's killed instantly, and Snape leaves. I cannot get the sight of her grey eyes from my mind and end up throwing up in a corner. She was the first and only person I ever killed.**

**My body convulses as the **_**crucio**_** hex runs through my nerves. I try thinking about how the spell is mainly mental and only one-one hundredth actual pain, but the information does not help and I finally let out a scream of pain. The spell is released and I lay there, twitching, and trying to catch my breath, hoping that there isn't another round coming, knowing that there is.**

**Watching the only girl who I ever loved be killed right in front of me and not being able to do a thing about it.**

"Master Regulus, you're almost done, just this last cup," Kreature says, lying, "Just this last cup and the pain will stop."

**Finding out that Voldemort was making Horcruxes so that he would never die, and realizing that he really was the psychopathic hypocritical maniac that Sirius had called him. Knowing that I was serving that maniac and wondering if I was even remotely sane.**

**Being told that it was my job to kill Sirius. That he was becoming too much of a pain to the Death Eaters and that they wanted him dead, and knowing they thought that I would be the best person for that job while I also knew that I would rather die than kill him.**

**Lying to Sirius that we could get to know each other again, while knowing that it was more than likely that I would be dead within the next five hours.**

"Master Regulus, the potion is gone and I have the locket. Look, I have the locket, you're going to be ok," Kreature says.

I can feel the potion running through my veins, making me extremely weak. Something tells me that I would not be able to make it back home.

"Kreature…remember my…orders," I rasp. Kreature looks at me with wide eyes, tears welling up in them. It's apparent that he's trying to fight the house elf magic that he is tied to, but in the end he apperates away with a crack and a sob.

I drag myself to the lake, suddenly feeling the need for a drink of water. I know that the inferi will attack me the moment that I touch the water, but cannot help it. I cup my hand, scoop some water and take a drink. The inferi grab me and start to pull me in. Instead of resisting I merely slide into the water, knowing that I do not have the strength to fight them. That I cannot even think of a spell to cause them to leave me alone.

_When I am released, from this mortal low  
I'll take my leave, but I don't want to go.  
When fate delivers me, all I'll ask for  
Is a place to rest, and shelter for my soul._

As I am pulled deeper into the depths I cannot help but to think of the dog star, and how Sirius had always loved dogs when we were younger. I smile as I think about how much he would have loved to see that big black dog that was at the end of the alley tonight.


	2. The Dog Star

**AN/ Sirius's side to this. Hope you have enjoyed this small story.**

Sirius's Chapter

I stare at the pictures that are in the dark blue leather album. The ghost of a smile lingers on my face as I stare at pictures of days gone by and cannot help but to think about how things had ended up between the two people in the picture. One dead and the other unable to grieve until long after the fact. I shake my head and turn the page. I remember how I wanted to give this book to him, but was unable to, how he died before I could. I see the picture at the end of the book, the one I had added after the last time that I saw him. It had been taken by some muggle woman, and she had given me a copy of it the next time I'd been in the bar.

_At the end of my days,  
When I'm called to go,  
into the open arms, of the Holy Ghost.  
To have lived such a life, as I have known,  
Will fortune follow me, now that I'm brave no more?_

I close the book on the picture of Regulus and me before standing and stretching. I don't know why I keep stretching. It doesn't relieve the stress that I feel from being cooped up in this house. Luckily Harry will be back shortly and I'll have another person to talk to, and maybe that will liven things up for a bit. Smiling at the knowledge I descend the stairs to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and notice Remus reading the newspaper with a bar of chocolate, rain dripping from his hair since he had just come in.

"How's the weather?" I ask with a smirk.

Remus gives a slight glower at me, "Isn't it obvious Padfoot?"

"Not one bit."

"Well, since you cannot tell, it's lousy." Remus closes the paper, "So what are you going to do now?"

I rub the back of my neck, "Dunno. There really isn't much to do around here except think."

"Can you find something to do, please? When you start thinking too much you get moody and depressed and it bothers me," Remus says.

I nod, though not because I agree with him, though I do get depressed, but to make him feel better. Remus does not seem to understand that I am stuck in here day in and day out with only myself and that damn house elf. It's one of the few days that I have company and don't think about how things went in the last war. In the last war I was much more active, and had moments where I was not proud of myself one bit. That's one reason that I'm glad that the war has been quiet so far. I don't want anyone, such as Tonks or Molly or Arthur or anyone who was not fighting last time to have to do what I had to.

**It's dark, and the moon is hidden behind the dense clouds. I walk along silently, and keep an eye open for Death Eater traps. Something tells me that tonight is going to be a busy night. James is beside me, just as quiet, but slightly more visible. I smirk as I think of how many times he asked me to help him learn how to use his magic to hide himself, but he isn't able to bend it properly, and it's too light anyway.  
Motioning for him to stop I listen to the night. Sure enough I hear the Death Eaters and creep up to their hiding spot. They're torturing and killing muggles, as usual, and we, as usual, start picking them off one by one. That's when they ambush us and we have to kill or be killed. The Death Eaters we're fighting are not wearing masks, and I see every person as I kill them, knowing that this will haunt me for the rest of my life.**

It's not easy to kill someone, nor does the thought of when it happened and who it was ever leave you.

"Sirius!"

I jump, "What?"

Remus scowls, "I thought that I told you to stop with the depressing thoughts!"

"Sometimes I can't help it Remus."

"I know. The madness within." There's a sigh from across the table, "I hope you know that this time is not going to be like last time."

I nod, "I know. I can feel it."

A doe patronus comes into the room and opens its mouth, "Black, thought that you'd like to know that your idiot godson has decided to go to the ministry where he thinks that you're being held captive. Send back word, so that we can either help him or bring his arrogant self back."

I blink at the message. Harry was going to…"Damn it! It's a trap!"

I say those words right as Tonks, Moody, and Kingsley enter the kitchen.

"What's a trap?" Moody growls.

"Remus, explain. I need to send a patronus." I leave the kitchen for a moment and stand in the hall, "_Expecto Patronum_."

The large silver grim like dog comes from my wand and looks at me expectantly, its tail wagging.

"Go to Snape, yes Snape," I notice that my patronus acts the same way that I would have given that order, "Snape, it's a trap. Go to Albus right now. There are members of the Order here, and we'll go to try and give Harry and his friends back up."

My patronus leaves and I reenter the kitchen, "When are we leaving?"

"We?" Moody says, "You're staying here Black. In case you forgot, you're still wanted by the law. Walking into the ministry would be the most foolish thing you've ever done."

I scowl at the ex-auror, "We're not going to talk about what my most foolish decision is in life. It would take too long. My godson is in trouble, so like hell are _you_ keeping me from this battle!"

"Oh, and what are you going to do, Black? You're out of practice with battle," Moody growls.

The air around me crackles with energy and I give him an icy glare, "Don't worry about me. Worry about the poor bastard who will be at the other end of my wand."

Moody tips his head, "I might have been wrong about you, a Black to the core," the man mutters.

_Oh, if I could spend my days,  
free from the shadow of my name,  
then I could die a happy man._

I apparate from the house, and to the department of mysteries, going with my intuition and knowledge of what Voldemort wants. Closing my eyes and opening them again I apparate again once I'm sure that I know where Harry is. He's in the room with the Death Veil in it, and that pisses me off even more. I can feel the other Order members with me and we burst into the room. I make a beeline for Harry and start to protect him, hoping that he and Neville, who I just noticed was here as well, will be able to make it out so the Order can take care of these other idiots quickly. As the battle goes on, I realize that this is not going to end well. Padfoot keeps growling in my mind, and I know that it's a warning. I manage to get Harry and Neville away from the main battle and going up the stairs when I have to go help Tonks, who tried to take on Bellatrix.

"Hey Trixie!" I shout, distracting the bitch from one of my favorite cousins.

She gives a sneer, "Oooh, little Sirius is packing a punch this time! I can practically taste the magic pouring from you."

I give a smirk, "Well how about a little dance?"

"Fine, once I kill you I can kill your godson."

"Lay a finger on him, and I swear to god that I will make your life and afterlife a living hell." I growl, letting go of the careful restrain I keep on myself as we start to duel.

Our wands flash through the air and I remember of all the times that we've dueled. The first time we dueled she won, but after that nearly every other time was mine. I felt sure that I could beat her, but something was off. Padfoot was pacing and howling. Sending a spell at her that I know will take some time to affect her I smile as she hisses. She recognizes the spell as a Black family specialty, and it's one of the ones she never managed to fully learn.

I give another smirk and laugh at her. She sends a red light at me, and I don't get a shield up in time. As I fall back, I can't help but to laugh at myself.

**"Siri, it's that recklessness of yours that will get you into major trouble one day," Regulus had said, "And I hope that it doesn't get you killed."**

I notice Harry's horror at what's happening and mentally wince. I had failed him again. Gone into a situation without thinking about how it will affect others. Now he only has Moony left, and Moony is left as the only Marauder. Ah, I'm such an idiot. Though, I had to know that I would die like this. Too many cards stacked against me, and I've been trying to bluff the devil when it comes to the poker game of life. I managed to win a few deals, but the cards have never been in my favor. And I now realize how much of a damn fool I've been. I should have never done this. Now Harry's alone.

_For my great mistakes, I will surely pay.  
I'm running low, and the devil is on my trail.  
When fate delivers me, all I'll ask for  
Is a place to rest, and shelter for my soul._

The veil flutters slightly as I fall through and I think about how many people I've let down, and know that there are practically none who I can make it up to. The only thing that makes me smile is the thought of being able to finally catch up with my brother.

_Mischief Managed_


End file.
